It’s interesting how the “other woman” has been given various names over the ages. We used to call her “mainini”, “girlfriend”, and then “smallhouse” happened and now we have “side chicks” and apparently, “side babies too”. And you know how we all frown upon these women and we go, “why couldn’t she just find a man of her own?” I honestly think that there should have been a reply to Joe Thomas’ ‘Good Girls‘, because is it me or does it seem as if all the awesome guys are taken?
And there are varying degrees of ‘taken’ you know? One may be in a relationship – and you usually meet this guy when he is at the serious stage and every other girl could go hang for all he cares. And the other ‘taken’ is when he is so married. Here so and very much married means nothing you can do sweetheart could make him leave his wife for you. Isn’t that just such a bummer?
So when we were all concentrating on hating on the side chick – Hollywood decided to give these women a break. Don’t you just hate how you LOVE Olivia Pope and prefer her with Fitz over Mellie? And yet Mellie is an alright kinda woman? And Mary Jane? She’s hot, got a great career and is the kind of woman you want to be, I mean who doesn’t want to be Gabrielle Union? So here you start thinking, hmmmm so what goes on in the mind of this other woman? She is human after all.
Does she go out of her way to destroy another woman’s marriage and family? Why though? Doesn’t she feel the pain on behalf of the woman she is hurting? But one doesn’t choose the feelings which suddenly take over her now does she? And it doesn’t help too when the said married man goes out of his way to woo this poor side chick.
In that case, why is it that it’s only the side chick who gets all the heat? Sure the world has never been fair on women and will probably never be fair – but does it not make sense for the guy to be the one who gets all the heat and the bad naming because he is the one who has vows he ought to respect?
Back to the other woman. When she falls for a guy who is either in a relationship or married, is she almost always unaware of this guy’s status? I suppose for this kind of woman she can be forgiven for having an affair yes? After all, she had no idea he was with someone already. But what she does afterwards now. But then again, it’s often too painful to break up with someone when you are still in love with them regardless of how wrong the relationship can be. And what if she knew that he has a wife and family and still goes on? What’s going through her mind then? That it doesn’t matter? What matters is what she and he have right now?
Or maybe she is secretly hoping that he will leave his wife and children for her? Yeah, a good number of side chicks think that don’t they? And even if they are told a million times that they are building castles in the air – you know how blind love and mad infatuation is like hey. Or maybe it starts off as innocent flirting and she thinks it’s harmless fun, and then voila! She is already head over heels.
Does the other woman also have real pain? Whitney Houston’s ‘Saving all my love’ kind of talks about this in such a passionate way doesn’t it? What are your thoughts where side chicks are concerned?
